Are you comfortable with the United States Government telling you, as a citizen, how much you can earn? Question 2 will be presented tomorrow. A simple yes or no, either through my email, or in the comments section will suffice. Believe me, this is going somewhere….

Kristi and Aric came to visit this last weekend, and we traded the luck with them. There is no finite amount of luck in the universe that I am aware of, but there is possibly a balance of it traded amongst parties. So the party that gets the luck increases whatever they’re trying to do, and kicks some ass, and the other party remains happily in stasis, until it is time to change the luck again.

I am extremely happy they came to visit, but feel at this time that if I don’t a.) let out a super long rant or b.) go to sleep, then c.) I will go mad.

I am irritated right now. I have PMS. Everything is offending me right now, down to the pillows and the blankets. If I went outside, I would be offended by some tree or bush, and be tempted to kick it or burn it. It’s at times like these that I understand, just briefly, why human beings have been trying to alter their states of consciousness for years.

I’m aware that it’s hormone driven, but it makes no difference. Knowing why does not necessarily change feeling. I think in primitive times, when women went to the “moon hut”, they did that so anything they smashed with their club was a bit off from the camp.

This is how I feel right now...

Enjoy your day. I’ll be back when I’m not feeling  like this pissed off emu. I miss Kristi and Aric. Donnie has offered to get me apple pie.

As I’ve seen this excellent quote twice in one day, once while re-reading the Hitchhhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and again  “randomly” generated by Wanda the Fish, I shall share this with you.

Anyone willing and capable to get themselves elected President by no
means should be allowed to do the job.
– Douglas Adams

I want to expand on the statement in regards to government officials at ANY level.  They should have to pass a personality test and a psychiatric exam first, to make sure they aren’t narcissistic bastards, which is mostly what we DO have. That’s where the CHARM comes from. We also have many antisocial personalities in our government, such as those who have learned that it is ok to hate and kill, as long as someone gives you permission to do it. There’s a very fine line there between smart criminals and dumb criminals. Also, there’s the CHARM again. Oh…that Ted Bundy, he was such a CHARMING guy. The personality test idea is not so outrageous, many companies now REQUIRE personality tests, at the very least, before hiring.

I work in the private sector. My agency apparently, allegedly, assists  government to make good decisions and take care of its constituents.  That’s what they hired us for anyway. But they don’t really consult with the actual  people who have the expertise, experience, or knowledge to help make a good decision. Then, when things go wrong, they can blame it on the private sector agency, thus saving their asses.

I suspect that this happens all day long, all the time, and has been going on for at least 70 years worth of government, perhaps longer. I think this happens at all levels of government.

When people who make decisions about things like budgets for heathcare or mental health, or anything else that they have no experience in, what you usually wind up with is shoddy planning, budget cuts, or shuffling of funds from one place to another without thinking about what it will do to the population they are affecting most. Speech writers draft things for the representative to say, such as, “We know this will affect many of our citizens and it pains us  to have to make cuts anywhere. We hope  you will bear with us through this difficult time.” The translation for this is: Enjoy your job loss and subsequent enforced vacation.Try not to cut yourself due to your situation, because that will be expensive and messy. If you do, try to die completely, as this is less expensive. Your alternative is to find a new job of course. If you can.

The person/people who take the heat for this crappy decision making when the mob shows up are people who were actually hired to be of service (on the payroll anyway), and have been stuffed into the basement to do a meta-analysis of the behavior of the population in the 1970’s. “So it will help us make a good decision NOW.”

What happens is that the decision is already made before the expert gets a good look, maybe 20 minutes will be given to look at a 400 page document and give any suggestions, and then they sign their name on it, a bit bewildered, and they are fired later for incompetency. They should have TOLD the higher-ups this would create a problem, as noted as a possibility on page 410 that the person never saw.

This person, as the expert,  is not to be blamed for not whistleblowing, because they are generally hit over the head as soon as they begin work, or are told, you’ll get to what we hired you for, but we just really need to get a grip on our historical data….blah blah blah, and there’s no end of it. When suspicion arises, the person’s coffee is poisoned, or they are fired, or they are killed. Also, a person has to eat and pay the bills, unless you think the government tit should take care of EVERYONE.

But the point is this, shouldn’t any job be based on your qualifications and experience? Shouldn’t your decisions to handle massive amounts of money and affect people’s lives be backed up with some sort of degree and experience in the field you are about to muck about with? That seems like common sense to me, but that is actually ATYPICAL in government, which, by the way, is supposed to REPRESENT the people, NOT wipe the asses of the people, (if people want their asses wiped they should consider learning the technique for themselves, unless they are disabled), and actually listen to what the PEOPLE WANT, rather than what some fathead with bribe money is saying what the people want. Of coure, depending on your G-level, that bribe money might look  nice. Especially if the special interest group offering it to you has also sent an  unofficial official to hold a gun to your head to make sure you got it.

But anyway… our country, states, counties, and cities are run by people who are ill-equipped. Not all of them. Not always. My suggestion here is simply that people who work in government should have qualifications and expertise to work in their position. Outrageous, I know! Upheaval, destruction of the system as we know it!

But how did we get this way? Most of the time what happens is little Mr. or Ms. starts at a low-level gruntling job, gets a bland generalized degree, and by virtue of hanging around the office long enough, learns just enough by osmosis how their predecessor did things, and is hired for the job regardless of qualifications, because they are part of the office furniture now. The predecessor has either a.) died b.) been fired just prior to retirement for some damn thing so they won’t get their full benefits c.) was moved up the ladder to a position vacated by a mummy, so no one knows how to do it  d.) moved on to a totally different area of work, such as telling the private sector how incompetent government agencies are and need help-expensive consulting help,  e.) actually, by a miracle, smells the dogs before they smell him/her and retires, probably early, f.) commits extremely unethical acts, such as sleeping with half the office, and cutting children’s funding, and shutting down clinics, and is therefore rewarded for immediate recommendation to high level positions in state or national government. Perhaps to be a judge, or one day, maybe president.

So, I think we could probably cut back our deficit just a teensy amount if we required people to be qualified, actually checked them out as qualified, and then required that they consult with experts before making gigantic decisions about things they know  nothing about. That seems like common sense to me. Also, I think that agencies such as the FDA should be held accountable by an outside agency, possibly by some folks from an extremely poor country, who nevertheless have made it through school, and are qualified to determine if a drug is likely to kill you before it is on the market, insists that there be no feces in your food, and will give you the facts about dyes, preservatives, and genetically engineered food. By no means should the FDA even know who these people are. They should not even know the country.

But really, you probably shouldn’t listen to me anyway, because although I have 3 degrees and a license to practice, but I do not have a degree in political science, which is more an art than any kind of science. I did take American Government, but this is now outdated, as it is being REMOVED  from school curriculum-at all grade levels. What you get in university now is (I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP) a book with a forward by Karl Marx, and some angst ridden professor’s ramblings about how BAD AMERICA IS, and NO DOCUMENTATION OF FACTS WHATSOEVER. Not even a footnote or anything.  No glossary.  The author is apparently unhappy that he got an education, has a job, has a roof over his head, and has insurance, and food and everything. So is the professor teaching this crap. Bad America indeed.

This is truly the kind of shit that DOES make America bad, rotten to the core. It makes me physically ILL to think of these little 18-year-olds who have been told what to do their whole lives, sitting and having this garbage stuffed down their throats at university. They come out thinking socialism, fascism, and communism are great, because no one gave them any FACTS about how many people died because of them, or how they all engender total economic collapse. Redistribution of wealth means, “We, the government, will now take everyone’s money, so now everyone will be POOR.” There’s no promise in redistribution of wealth that people will have more-it promises more equality. Everyone will be equally poor.

Despite the flaws in our system, I shall say that I am intensely grateful to be an American. I support capitalism, which is a self-correcting system, as long as government doesn’t interfere. I am grateful for my freedom of speech, which allows me to write this opinionated blog. And I am also grateful for my right to bear arms, which I never used to give much thought to, but am now considering, as there is a legion of university students who will soon be grown…I only pray to God there is even one professor in each university that can set them straight. It’s this simple- Question everything you have ever been told, or experienced, and validate it through facts. Seek the truth, not what is comfortable. And young ones-kick some ass and take some names, but do it after you have read a real American History Book, an American Government book, and Lies My Teacher Told Me. The books you read have to have facts in them, ok? Documentation. That’s like when you write a paper and have to state your sources so you don’t plagarize.

If you’re still in favor of anything like socialism, communism, fascism, etc, get the hell out of here. America doesn’t need your weak-sauce kind. Go work and live in a country that takes 50-80% of your paycheck for a year, like Canada, or maybe Norway, and see if you don’t come running back to the great USA, a changed individual.

For the hardcore, I recommend China, if you think you’ve got the balls. I have been there. At the invitation of their government. You go see how “wonderful” communism is. The “People’s Republic” does not even allow them to travel from one province to another. I had to tell people in one part of China what Beijing was like, even though it was just hours away. You don’t even get to control your own thermostat in China. THAT is a FACT. And if you”re born to a couple that doesn’t qualify for an extra child, you might live, but you will never attend school, get healthcare, or qualify as a citizen. You may have a limb or three missing, so people might take pity on you and give you scraps.

I love being an American. Fuck you if you don’t.

I love the word “woo”. It can be nicely applied in many ways.

1. Wooooooooooo! Woooooooo! Pretending you are a ghost.

2. Adding it as a descriptive, such as “Woo Scary Basement”

3. To date, romance, or try to win another’s affections. “Woo.”

4. I also like it as sarcasm. “Woo. That’s exciting as watching a puddle evaporate.”

5. I had a cat that I liked to call Woo sometimes. I don’t know why. She died, and I still miss my Woo.

Woo. =)

Ok, after I posted my blog about passing the LCSW exam, this blog had nearly 1000 page views in a day. Considering this blog usually gets about 1700-2000 per month, this is a pretty amazing figure. So, either statpress is having issues, or people really wanted to know about the LCSW. I would be happy to answer any questions I can about passing the exam for anyone who is interested. It’s all in the best interest of passing the exam!

De Seestor and Aric are coming this weekend-YES!!!!! I love it when they visit, although I really think the next visit should be on Donnie and I. I’m missing Colorado, just got to get those awesome airfares…they come and go.

MAJOR CONGRATULATIONS ARE IN ORDER TO WENDY AND MIKE. THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE A BABY! I WILL BE SPOILING THAT KID ROTTON AND LOVING IT UP AS IF IT WERE MY OWN. I AM SO VERY EXCITED FOR THEM. LOVE YOU BOTH!!!!!!!!!

After weeks of studying, and years preparing with clinical hours and supervision, I took the LCSW exam today for the first time. I PASSED!!!! This is not an easy test, and I was SO relieved. Thank you to who helped me with encouraging words, supervision, suggestions, support, and prayers. Prayers especially really helped-I could feel them, and I believe that prayer is tangible in effect, especially when people are focused on a common goal. See Noetics, or any number of theories and experiments for further explanation. =)

If you are a person studying for this exam, the following materials were most helpful in prepping.

1. The Social Worker’s Desk Reference: This clarifies and gives more specifics on virtually any topic that may come up on the exam.

2. If your state offers a test prep course, take it. The study manual you will get from it alone is worth the cost of the course.

3. The DSM-IV TR, or as I like to call it, the Big Gray Book of Human Misery (That’s me whistling in the dark.) Also a great song by They Might Be Giants….

4. Purchasing the practice exam from the ASWB is well worth it. In taking it, it made me more familiar with the true exam format, types of questions, and although I passed the practice exam, my score was even higher on the actual exam. More confidence, less anxiety.

5. I also found a subscription to socialworkexam.com was helpful, but feel I could  have passed the exam without it. There are many typos on the site, as well as conflicting and duplicated information. To be fair-it does at least give you some practice and some key review knowledge.

I am on cloud nine. I can now do private practice on the side or full time, and take insurance. It’s the ultimate goal achieved at the end of years of training, but there’s always more to learn. Good luck to anyone on their journey. It’s a major turning point in your career, and a reward for years of hard work!

Especial thanks to Sweet Donnie, for his faith in me, and for covering me with silly string immediately after the exam, and wrapping a large feather boa in Kelly Colors around me. I love my husband. He also got me a keepsake for today, took me for great food, and to a movie. Then, we relaxed. Sweet bliss. I think I shall sleep well tonight.

If all time is now, and now is all we have, everything that has ever happened is still happening, and everything that will happen is already happening. No wonder we have memories the way we do. I think our brains would collapse under the weight of trying to assimilate all that information.

I saw on a documentary recently that human brains have receptor sites that are equipped to “receive” THC. Not the kind you smoke, but the kind your brain actually makes. It is a chemical that keeps you from remembering every person you saw on the street today, or every single detail of each day of your life. But the natural chemical is not THC, just similar.

It’s the Dope Show.

But I definitely don’t advocate the regular use of Mary Jane. She gets into your frontal lobe and makes your ability to empathize about the size of a pea, and she kicks the shit out of your motivational centers. I don’t want to have a discussion with anyone about it, so don’t send me any info. I’ve seen brain scans and studied them. I’ve worked with psychiatrists/medical doctors on this. Have you? No? Then go away. She’s great for making you eat though, no Greek or southern Mammy could push food harder.

But going back to memories…I was reminded yesterday of a beautiful dream I had when I was going through terrible personal distress. I brought it on myself. I was convinced I was doing the right thing. I listened to my heart, rather than to reason. And when you only listen to one, rather than both, you get yourself into deep trouble.

But this lovely dream I had was that I was helping people who were on a bus who had been injured in some way, and I was distressed because I felt that I couldn’t get to them all in time. The Dalai Lama appeared to me and said, “There is enough time. Always enough time. You forget to smile when you help sometimes. Remember to smile.” And he gave me this HUGE grin, and started laughing, and I started laughing, and I had a profound sense of joy.

I’m not a Buddhist. Just a Light Bearer. I can’t lay claim to any religion, but I am so grateful for that dream. I was watching an interview with the Lama yesterday, which is what reminded me of the dream. And in that interview, he was talking about smiling, talking about being joyful. So that is what I worked on today, joyfully, being happy in my work, remembering the gratitude I have for the work, and the joy of helping others. I forget that all too often. Maybe you do too. Smile and be joyful! It is so much more fun than the grind.

And I am SO  grateful that I don’t remember every single memory, and every single pain.

Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a great Christmas, and/or whatever it is you celebrate. New Year’s was fun at Wendy and Mike’s, with the unexpected addition of Michelle’s Uncle Butch, who brought what is basically a version of dirty pictionary. High amusement for drunken and non drunken souls. All you need is at least the memory of what it was like to be a junior high boy or girl, and there you go.

I hate my kitchen. I hate my lack of kitchen. I also hate my living room. I hate my lack of living room. I try to remind myself that there are starving children in Africa who would be appreciative of my lack of kitchen and living room, and would use the space for target practice or something, rather than just storage space for varying grades of clean and dirty clothes. I hate my lack of drawer and hanging space with which to put away the clean and dirty clothes.

The word “Contractor”, which is one I’ve never been particularly drawn to, begins to sound like the beginnings of a possible symphony.

I should be working like a slave right now, and I”m going to hop to it. The boss has promised the state that we will have the largest amount of paperwork we’ve ever processed completed by next Friday. I’m not sure how that will happen, as there are no house elves around here to complete what we started after dark. But I will hope. HYAH!

I am seriously lucky. I am totally grateful. I can’t believe how amazing people can be sometimes. You know who you are. Thank you!

Sometimes in this blog, I wench a lot. In fact, more often than not, I am wenching about something. Sometimes I do it comically, sometimes I do it without any grace or precision whatsoever. And then sometimes, I am inspired to say something more.

I believe that there are Lightbearers on this planet. The task of being a Lightbearer is to illuminate where darkness is, has been, and to heal wounds left behind when darkness has left damage in its wake. Everyone, I believe, unless you are something other that human, has the potential to be a Lightbearer. Some people are born knowing they are here to do something to help, to heal, to be of service to others. Some people discover it later. Some people have to journey through darkness to discover that they have the ability, and the choice, to hold light. Each Lightbearer has a specific talent, sometimes many talents that create joy and happiness where it was not before.

So, I believe that there is a spark of the divine in each one of us. When we recognize someone we’ve never met, when we meet someone we never expected to meet, when we become amazed, awed, overwhelmed by beauty, by art, by performance, by music, by a story, by reality, and we feel so incredible in that moment-that is a connection to the divine.

Really, we have that spark all the time. It can become difficult in ordinary, normal, uneventful days to forget about it. But I think the point is that we are supposed to create it, bring it out to shine on those days, to look for something amazing within the apparently mundane.

Think of how terrible is feels to be lost, disconnected, to feel unimportant, untalented, unloved, unnoticed, unappreciated, unrecognized. That is a smothering of your spark. Sometimes it’s you, doing it to yourself. Sometimes it’s others who have snuffed their spark, or have forgotten.

Don’t forget. Remember the truth. If you’ve snuffed out your spark, rekindle it. There is no finding yourself. You create yourself. Answers are within you, and all around you. I wish you all well, and to be at peace, and to enjoy the magic of the season, but to keep it with you, all year round, by remembering your spark.