If all time is now, and now is all we have, everything that has ever happened is still happening, and everything that will happen is already happening. No wonder we have memories the way we do. I think our brains would collapse under the weight of trying to assimilate all that information.

I saw on a documentary recently that human brains have receptor sites that are equipped to “receive” THC. Not the kind you smoke, but the kind your brain actually makes. It is a chemical that keeps you from remembering every person you saw on the street today, or every single detail of each day of your life. But the natural chemical is not THC, just similar.

It’s the Dope Show.

But I definitely don’t advocate the regular use of Mary Jane. She gets into your frontal lobe and makes your ability to empathize about the size of a pea, and she kicks the shit out of your motivational centers. I don’t want to have a discussion with anyone about it, so don’t send me any info. I’ve seen brain scans and studied them. I’ve worked with psychiatrists/medical doctors on this. Have you? No? Then go away. She’s great for making you eat though, no Greek or southern Mammy could push food harder.

But going back to memories…I was reminded yesterday of a beautiful dream I had when I was going through terrible personal distress. I brought it on myself. I was convinced I was doing the right thing. I listened to my heart, rather than to reason. And when you only listen to one, rather than both, you get yourself into deep trouble.

But this lovely dream I had was that I was helping people who were on a bus who had been injured in some way, and I was distressed because I felt that I couldn’t get to them all in time. The Dalai Lama appeared to me and said, “There is enough time. Always enough time. You forget to smile when you help sometimes. Remember to smile.” And he gave me this HUGE grin, and started laughing, and I started laughing, and I had a profound sense of joy.

I’m not a Buddhist. Just a Light Bearer. I can’t lay claim to any religion, but I am so grateful for that dream. I was watching an interview with the Lama yesterday, which is what reminded me of the dream. And in that interview, he was talking about smiling, talking about being joyful. So that is what I worked on today, joyfully, being happy in my work, remembering the gratitude I have for the work, and the joy of helping others. I forget that all too often. Maybe you do too. Smile and be joyful! It is so much more fun than the grind.

And I am SO  grateful that I don’t remember every single memory, and every single pain.

Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a great Christmas, and/or whatever it is you celebrate. New Year’s was fun at Wendy and Mike’s, with the unexpected addition of Michelle’s Uncle Butch, who brought what is basically a version of dirty pictionary. High amusement for drunken and non drunken souls. All you need is at least the memory of what it was like to be a junior high boy or girl, and there you go.

I hate my kitchen. I hate my lack of kitchen. I also hate my living room. I hate my lack of living room. I try to remind myself that there are starving children in Africa who would be appreciative of my lack of kitchen and living room, and would use the space for target practice or something, rather than just storage space for varying grades of clean and dirty clothes. I hate my lack of drawer and hanging space with which to put away the clean and dirty clothes.

The word “Contractor”, which is one I’ve never been particularly drawn to, begins to sound like the beginnings of a possible symphony.

I should be working like a slave right now, and I”m going to hop to it. The boss has promised the state that we will have the largest amount of paperwork we’ve ever processed completed by next Friday. I’m not sure how that will happen, as there are no house elves around here to complete what we started after dark. But I will hope. HYAH!