Current Mood: Mischievous

I have seriously wondered a few times in the last week if I am losing my mind. I talked to the Seestor last night, and I felt totally better. I laughed hysterically actually, which is a lot better than crying hysterically.

My roommate and I are both in places of extreme stress. It’s not an easy thing for me to deal with the reality of my family’s chosen chaos on a regular basis. I have packed, repacked, moved, and removed items belonging to my parents in the last month and a half. There is no part of me whatsoever interested in any more packing, changing, remodeling, or reinventing. There is only rest, and possibly wanting to work on my own projects, such as clothing donations, or laundry.

My roommate, on the other hand, is in a place where she wants and needs to reinvent, and is in a mood for total cleanup, change, the purchase of new items, and compromise and coordination on the house, meaning that there will be new furniture, wall art, and various other things added that I don’t want or need at all. But she lives there too and has a right to make changes also.

Suffice it to say I think we have both freaked out plenty this week. Such as when we had a conversation for the 10th time at least about the Problem of the Couches. And thus, I threw the couches away, so now we have NO couches.  And when we talked about having an orange wall, I just broke down in tears completely. I can’t deal with an orange wall. She can’t deal with a white wall. We rent, so it’s not like we can just paint everything.

My roomie has left the country again, and I’m desperately hoping that by the time she gets back, I’ll actually want to project again. Right now, my heart, time, money, and energy just aren’t in it. But I don’t want to go berserk about it any more either.

Seestor cheered me up by telling me that neither of us are crazy, and that she had an internal meltdown when thinking about “Hank’s Room”, a 1000 square foot office space packed floor to ceiling with such random and wonderful items as kazoos, life size KISS dolls, popcorn machines, dragon heads, army fatigues, and lots of other things that, when packed together, just make a mind go something like this: “!!!……!…..ohnoohnoohno….whatdoesitmeanwherediditcomefromwhereamIgoingtoputitwhy?why?why?”

And then you have a moment of “Oh! Neat! Oh….oh….nononononoidon’tknowwhattodowiththisthingdamnit!”

And then it becomes more like this: “……….ohithurts…………….ihatethis…………………………pickitupthrowitaway……….repeat…….”

And none of these things were acquired on purpose by the Seestor or her husband. HAPPY RECENT BIRTHDAY Aric! They were just leftovers from the bankruptcy when they got the studio. And I said I understood completely, because I found no less than 250 old razors in mom’s drawers that were USED FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, and my fragile little mind could just not even DEAL with the reality that I found a razor I remember mom shaving with when I was 5. Can’t even eBay that. “Vintage 1983 razor? Must meet minimum bid in order to justify shipping costs?” No.

But some people horde things. And the people who do are never ever ever the people who wind up packing it all and figuring out what to do with it. Sentiment is heavy, and it takes up a lot of space.

On the brighter side of life though, Joe is back from Iraq, and I have enjoyed seeing him and hearing about what’s really going on over there. I am glad he is safe, and it’s pretty damn comforting to visit with people that have known me for half my life and see how things are going for everyone.

Sweet Donnie continues to be the bright spot in my world. He bought me an iPod Touch, which is one of the coolest things ever made, in the history of EVER. I love it! He also gave me some amazing flowers, which make my room smell beautiful, and I have enjoyed waking up to them. We are about to hit the notorious “6 month mark”, but I love him more every day, and I’m so happy and grateful to be with him and near him. We make a good team. It’s so awesome to be in a relationship that isn’t scary, isn’t bland, isn’t dysfunctional, and just keeps kicking ass.

I’m sad summer seems to be coming to a close here so early. We’ve had some very chilly and windy weather this week, a sure sign that fall is on the way. I always want just a little bit more, but I’m looking forward to walking through the haunted corn maze and Halloween, and then all the glorious holidays. Next week will probably be insane. I don’t get Labor Day off, but I didn’t ask for it either. I will comp it out some other time. It’s the start of school for the treatment kids. On the upside, they’ve managed to destroy the desks over the summer, so I don’t have to worry too much about those flying around the room, only pieces of them.

Sigh. I better rest up over the weekend before it’s too late.